A New Collection on Queer Romance
For the past few years, I've been working on self-publishing my next poetry collection. This book is my authentic exploration of love and relationships through more than a 100 poems. To me, it's important to represent myself in the most authentic way possible.
Being queer, I grew up with a notion of love that was unrealistic. But even when I started learning what relationships were forming within our communities, it did not click for me either. As an autistic person, I realise that the way I form and perceive relationships is different. And perhaps that's the way love is to everyone: a perception deeply influenced by our histories, personalities, and overall brain wiring.
For these reasons, I find it crucial to express my experiences through poetry. My perspective is unique and I need to speak it. It's how I stay sane in relationships and make sure that the other person's voice doesn't drown mine.
There's also that sentiment that, others who go through similar patterns of relationships and thoughts can relate to my words and feel understood. At times, the worst thoughts are when we start doubting our own feelings. I hope each of my readers feel valid in their emotions.
I'll be posting more about the book in the next days.
Why Self-Publish?
I write poetry because I love to. It's an art-form and a hobby. The journey of even submitting and publishing individual poems is in itself exhausting and non-rewarding. As a writer who gets socially exhausted and has little energy after a busy schedule, I rather spend that time doing things I enjoy. Although I firmly believe my poetry deserves to be published and represented in the best way possible, it would be harmful to my mental health to seek out publishing opportunities.
I must also admit I do enjoy having control over the publishing narrative. It does get challenging to design a book cover and edit the manuscript to be ready for publishing; but I also find that rewarding. I love learning and trying new things. Figuring out the bleed margins and canvas size may not sound that fancy, but it's also not my first time at the rodeo. Even though the last self-published collection was six years ago, I had a better idea of what to look out for.
The toughest parts are gone. In a few days, I'll be holding the first print test copy, and depending on how that looks and feels in my hands, I will be able to set a timeline for this project. Now, the focus moves onto presenting the book, which includes posts like this.
I honestly enjoy writing these posts. They're me, authentic. I don't feel like I have to mask and present myself on social media in a way that would be required for a publisher. Yes, there's hope that they're received positively, but there's also no loss or nervousness if they don't. In that sense, I choose self-publishing because it works best for me on multiple fronts.
Dreams and Expectations
Choosing to publish rather than hoard my poetry does tie itself in with dreams and expectations. In all honesty, the dream would be to have readers connect and relate and that my words are able to leave an imprint. To achieve that, it'd require my poetry to land in the right hands, or in many hands.
My expectations are that my dreams are only hopeful ones. The literary world is highly competitive, and as an indie writer with little time to spare, I struggle to network or market myself in the normalised ways. I'll be extremely honest: I'm keeping my expectations really low. I'd love to give this book the best chance it got, but I also don't want to build false hopes for myself.
I'll promise to learn as I go and see what I can do best to highlight excerpts on social media. I've also had the idea of doing readings and posting clips online, but open mics are extremely exhausting for me. I'm striving for a balance that gives this collection its best chance without sacrificing any of my physical or mental health.
I'm welcome to any constructive criticism or helpful ideas, if anyone would like to share. I'll end this post here, and, next time, I'll announce the title and book cover after I've finalised some logistics.