Love is blind as they say.......... But the person who dreamed up that expression (some dude called Shakespeare apparently) obviously hadn’t considered that the rose tinted glasses ( aka Rayban Wayfarers ) come off with a sharp bang once a ‘dream’ trip is embarked on.
In my mate’s case the problems started surfacing even before the first whiff of airport coffee had reached the nostrils. His girlfriend had already packed the suitcase with military precision, outfits grouped together for each day which handily coincided with the military style itinerary she had already printed out in triplicate. He started to get suspicious when she started to quote the departure time as 0 eight hundred hours.
So just to fill in you in on the relationship so far up to the 0 eight hundred hour departure time bit. They shared a love for mountain biking, hiking, abseiling, lets say things on the ‘extreme’. They had also enjoyed their fair share of pardaaays, clubs and even taken in the odd exhibition - Frida Kahlo making an early claim for women’s independence and unique individuality, what’s not to like? So any non Relate trained councillor would think..... shared interests -check , culture vultures - check, get it on down until the wee hours - check what could go wrong?
Well as you’ve guessed readers it certainly did go Pete Thong as never is a test of a relationship more evident as when you enclose two people in a bubble of high expectation where their innate differences and priorities are exposed.
Firstly my mate heard the 3am alarm and hit the snooze button rightly (or not) thinking that getting to the mall, sorry airport at silly o’clock is a needless waste of zeds, which after two or three repeat snoozes disintegrated into a hellish row, a late Uber arrival, wearing half his holiday gear due to his hastily packed overweight case, which then resulted in an excessively sweaty run along that never ending nightmarish corridor to reach the the very last gate at the very last minute to board. The only way to ignore his girlfriend’s slapped arse ‘told you so face’ was to avail himself rather over enthusiastically of the free drink trolley culminating in their first ever grade 8 on the Richter scale row.
Well the journey there set the scene for what turned out to be a very expensive version of Hate Island. Day 2 went reasonably peacefully mainly due the severe hangover and jet lag but you can only sheepishly and broodily follow someone’s detailed plans to methodically explore every inch of a city for so long. He thought that chilling by the pool and seeing what the bod fancied on a day to day basis was a smart way to proceed without a care for advance booking, queue avoidance, exhibition dates, high sun risk times etc etc.
Also, although he vaguely remembered on dates she’d always ordered salady type dishes, he now discovered his non bride to be was also an obsessive calorie counting vegan, so after traipsing round looking for menus which included both burgers and vegetarian options on a daily basis (Argentina is not well known for its lentil bakes) they mutually agreed to call time on the holiday and make their own way home, which fortunately for us cabin crew is an excellent get out of jail free card!
Do you really know someone until you travel with them? I don't think so!
Thanks for the read guys, take care!
