Source
It is a real shame that time is unstoppable, keep growing, having more responsibilities and worries. It's ironic to think that I currently have fewer responsibilities and am trying less hard than myself of about 3-4 years ago. Previously I had my nose in every possible project not only on Steem, but any cryptocurrency project where they needed something or someone.
While it's true that at the same time I was working a lot more compared to now, I also made a lot of mistakes and I think that's a good thing because everything I've been through has allowed me to do the things I do today. What better way to learn than by making shitty mistakes?
I remember one of my first mistakes was letting my Facebook be public to all people. When I started in the crypto world I did a lot of research, I spent hours and hours watching videos on how this system and all the technologies derived from it worked. At one point in my life I even tried to learn how to program, but high school by that time was consuming 900% of all my time and I could not wear myself out anymore. So once I felt knowledgeable enough I started interacting with people. Making a comment here and there in crypto groups on Facebook. Even though the boom of 2017 hadn't happened yet, crypto groups were incredibly lively and there were always new projects coming out or also people looking to scam the more uninformed, but there was a lot of activity after all.
There was a point where I was debating with people about future projects and things related to trading and this is when my mistake became apparent: Most of the arguments I was giving, to them (the people), were completely stupid as I was just a "kid" and looking to scam people (I was about 14-15 years old at the time). I remember a lot of comments saying that they were going to track me down and kidnap me, and even kill me because according to them, it was impossible for a kid to be opining on such topics and recommending projects/cryptocurrencies. It was a very dark time and many threats were quite strong, so after a few months I decided to deactivate my Facebook until I deleted all my personal information. After that I started reading about anonymity in cryptocurrencies and became more associated with that principle; there is nothing wrong with wanting to hide your life while wanting to support something or other. In a way, it is quite advantageous to avoid unpleasantness like the one I went through by just being a kid by that time, so anonymity should not be bad in all occasions. A couple of months (or years) later all the activity I had on most platforms was completely anonymous so I feel that no one should go through that kind of experience and much less a "kid" who was trying to learn and dabble in new technologies that could perhaps guarantee him a better future. Society can be very shitty sometimes.
Well, what does all this have to do with the time?
Honestly: I don't know.
Today is my birthday, and I'm only 19. I'm amazed at how fast the time has passed since I started this world and how I had to go through so many stages until I got to Steem (now Hive) and made this my home. I'm very disappointed in all the mistakes I've made in the past and all the problems there were to my name (and even things I participated in that are also part of the long list of @flaws).
Ever since I returned to the platform my past has been haunting me in some form or another. A few months ago I received a comment on my personal Facebook from an old hunting group (something like hivewatchers) that used to be very famous on Hive (for different reasons). I didn't remember at all that those people had my Facebook, maybe they used it to confirm my identity, but it was kind of creepy how after years I received a completely random comment on one of my memes (I only use Facebook for memes).
I think I've tried to make up for all the shit that happened with me before and I've tried to help as much as I can and that makes me feel a lot better. If there was a way to erase all the past and that big list of mistakes, I would be completely happy to be able to do that as I really, really like everything I've tried so hard to regain the trust of many friends I used to have before I left the community. Nowadays things are very different from the way they used to be and that was quite a relief. Before, I was forced to share a lot of information about myself, including pictures of me holding signs with specific texts. It's really great how much everything has changed in that aspect, because nowadays it's the users themselves who are in charge of taking care of the communities where they live, and I think that's how things should always have been (and not fully trust 1-2 groups of plagiarism hunters).
Even though I had to start from scratch with my new account, it was one of the best decisions I could have made. I am still quite grateful for all the help that many people have given me here and I am very confident that at some point I will be able to return the favor. I got rep 70 and although this number doesn't really represent much, I think it's a sign of how committed I've been up to this point. I hope I can dedicate 1000% of my time to Hive and improve myself as a person and as a user here.
It will be interesting to read this next year.