On a personal note, I definitely am going through hardships from previous mistakes that I have committed. But I won't just say anything in specific, please bear with me. I knew it's wrong, that what I was doing would do me no good in the future. Sad to say, I still went on about it. And now I am suffering the consequences of the past. Yes, I am having a very tough time dealing with it but I openly embraced it still. It is indeed exhausting, and I really am.
Then I came to a point that giving up is the only hope, an escape from all these because I was already feeling hopeless. I was drained empty and became too weak to stand up and fight. I kept asking, "is it too late for me?" and it filled my mind with "Yes, it kind of is" and I was there on the verge of losing it.
Fortunately, from that darkness I came back to my senses and shoved that crazy thought at the back of my mind. Even until now I'm making my way out of the dark, broken.
My mind kept screaming out loud in despair and made tears flow like a river as I mostly cried, alone in the four dark corners of my room. Yes, I kept praying and it appeased my troubles somehow. I became hopeful again putting faith into the coming brighter days.
Soon.
One day.
Someday.
I could not rely on others. I only have myself and no one else at the end of the day. I just have to keep cheering for myself that I will make it through this mess. That all this will pay off. All that is not well will be alright. And that everything has a reason, though the reason is unknown. I want to question when all this will end for I might lose it again and I am scared coz I might not be hold it this time, in case. I have lost trust but I will gamble to trust again on a "Someday" that everything will be alright.
