The informations that shape our mind and ideologies often come from what we hear and see. Our eyes and ears are the gates to our minds and shapes our belief system. Whatever we put in there long enough and if continuously are fed those information becomes part of our belief system which affects our worldview and our take on what life is all about. In this case, I'll be writing today on the big four letter word - LOVE.
Most of what you and I know about love is what we've grown up seeing and hearing. If we were in a broken family of divorced parents, we'll tend to believe that love is conditional and is a very shaky emotion because at any point of disagreement or disatisfaction we feel, we can terminate a promise, a covenant, to love one another. Because of this kind of happenings that continue happening through the generations, we can have entire generations and people group confused about what love is and have lies as it's definition instead. YOU can break this cycle of dysfunction!
Another scenario is questions that we have about our feelings or sexuality. Google has so often become the go-to "mentor" that we seek for answers from. The sad thing is that many actually believe in what Google says, although their emotions and questions about their feelings and sexuality are temporal, we take it as a definition of who we are and what we are instead of seeking better counsel. Just think about it, you asked an internet search engine about something that would shape your whole life, and in a moment of desperation of seeking an answer, we devour a "most read" article on Google and take it as the compass for our lives. This is utter foolishness!
So what am I trying to get to here? Well, I believe that many of the things that we hear and see about love are utter BS! The reason why I say that is because, most if not all of what we watch in movies and read on the net are not coherent with life. It won't take you long to realize that the more you and I believe what is portrayed as love, often romance in our modern day case, only lead us more into a road that leads to nowhere. We end up depressed, confused, and empty.
Lies VS Truth
Movies, dramas, commercials on TV, always portray love in a certain way. It often goes down the same storyline of, 2 people falling in love which most of the time reflects in how they feel towards one another when they first meet. The butterflies in the stomach, the tingling sensation on our spine when we see that person. But THIS isn't love. It is romance which I believe is a counterfeit of love. Am I saying that these feelings are wrong? Of course not. What I am saying however is that, if this is what love is then what happens when those feelings go away? We just cannot equate romance = love. We destroy our lives by believing in this crap (equation above). Seperate both of them and recognize that love can be build and romance can be festered by choice.
The idea of romance we are so often fed by the world is the counterfeit of love. Misery and brokenness follows this lie!
The idea of romance we are so often fed by the world is the counterfeit of love. Misery and brokenness follows this lie!
Because of this kind of belief that without romance love is not present, many have relegated themselves to a life of loneliness because they apparently "can't find love" or "there's no one that suitable for me" before even getting to know a particular person! What a stupid lense to judge yourself and someone else from. The meme "forever alone" is a real life reality because before we can even get to know someone on a deeper level morally, mentally and emotionally, we already reject them by our current perception of who they are and "what type of person I'm into". Come on, nobody shows their most valuable stuff to everyone. Everyone will show more of themselves and who they are when there is more trust and vulnerability between them? And how can that happen if intentional time and 'getting to know someone' isn't put in?
Related Short Story
Maybe some of these people are saving that part of themselves for their future husband/wife?
My wife once said to me regarding the way women dress, "All girls show themselves la. Just that some choose to show to anyone la". A funny way to put it but accurately TRUE!
I don't know how else to stress the seriousness of exposing this lie but - LOVE IS NOT A FEELING!
Without romance, love can STILL be present.
Love is often discovered through time and growing with people. But because we're condition by our fast pace 'I want it here I want it now' culture, we'd rather let temporal emotional feelings and gratification take the place of lasting purpose driven love. We'd rather live in the romance fantasy of our imagination and forfeit our real life wholesomeness. This should not be so! Can't we see it? That this is a lie fashioned to keep us bound?
Don't forfeit your inheritance as a child of God! Get your mind detoxed!
Asides from myself, I've found that of my friends that have strong marriages isn't due to the fact they still are "in-love" with each other. Romance isn't the foundation of their marriage but continual choice to love each other no matter what is. Romance is just a by-product of that choice. Through the difficulties, the arguments, the hurt they cause one another, the irreconcilable differences, through the breakdowns, through the pain, some even in the unfaithfulness of their other partner, they've chosen to be faithful, put on love and deliberately choose to forgive and remain tender hearted, not to each other but before God. Only He can heal you and He can mend what has been broken. He is the definition of what we all want, what we all need, love.
God is love. - 1 John 4:8b
Application and Exhortation!
Where is your source from?
Google and the like, shouldn't be your source of truth.
Don't forfeit your abundant life Christ has given you for crap you read on the internet.
How to not be single?
Get to know people especially those that has an interest towards you. Coz honestly, what makes you so interesting that someone would like you? You gonna be cosmetically challenged at some point.
How to find love?
God is Love. If you find Him you've found love. And now that you've found love, get your definition of happiness, romance, and love from Him.
What about romance?
Romance is way overrated. Love between two people who know each in and out, that kind of intimacy that can only happen through time and growth, is like romance on steriods! I guess if you've never given intimacy a chance first even if there is no romance at the beginning, will never know what I mean... hahahaha
TOPIC FINDER: I always enjoy talking with people on topics they like to converse about so if you have a "How-To" or a question related to life, leave a comment and I'll write my thoughts on it in an upcoming post. Oh and I'll be upvoting comments just for engaging. Bless you!
Previous Frameworks: Frameworks Issue #16: How to Have a Backbone
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://danielwong.vornix.blog/2018/09/03/frameworks-issue-17-counterfeit-love-detox-your-mind-2/