Take 2 minutes of your precious time to relax
Just this morning I was listening to the radio on my way into
work and I heard about this interesting warning label on a router:
Do not use as a dental drill.
Enjoy!!
On Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside."
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(I know how I use soap, how do you use like regular soap?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions:
Defrost."
__(But it's just a suggestion; I'm sure it tastes just as good
though.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down".
(Oops, If your reading this, too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
hot after heating".
(As night follows the day . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
on body".
(BUT wouldn't this save EVEN more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive
a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we just get those 7-year-olds with head-colds
off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(REALLY? One would hope.)
__On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only".
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
the other use".
(I gotta admit, I am very curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains
nuts".
(Logic flew out the window on this one)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Step 1: Open Packet Step 2: Eat Nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing
of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company...I blame
parents for this one.)
and my personal favorite...........
a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt
to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a chance of this happening
somewhere?....Good Lord!!)
From: Bob Rose [bdrose@algoma.com]
Sent: Thursday, January 18, 2001 11:33 AM
To: Ken Graham; Enrico Cerilli; Eputton@Algoma.Com; Katie Rose
Oter alternative links;
http://boardofwisdom.com/togo/Quotes/ShowQuote?msgid=34850#.WYWdbLaQy00
http://statmath.wu-wien.ac.at/~zeileis/private/stuff/doomed.html
Bless you and all those your heart touches