Tom Brady finally called it quits, but I'm not buying it for a minute. He'll head out to Hollywood to bang starlets before getting that itch again. Not from an std mind you, although with the freaks out in Cali, anythings possible. Brady will likely pull a Michael Jordan and make a triumphant return just when the other lesser quarterbacks think it's safe to get back in the water.
The Eagles should pick his ass up, because God knows they need help... Everywhere. They're like a Kardashian who's breast implants popped. That team needs to be completely rebuilt from the ground up. Hell, if Tom Brady can bring back the moribund Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he should be able to patch the flat tire known as The Philadelphia Eagles.
And that brings me to soccer, which some foreigners like to call "Football" for some strange reason, but that ain't flying here boys. It's NFL all the way baby! Some of them tried to put that mess on our TV here, and that was NOT happening.
The problem with soccer is that it's boring as fuck. Soccer is the most boring "sport" in the entire world. And that's saying a lot considering golf, which is actually soothing to watch. God knows we tried to get into it, but nothing ever happens. The few times we had it on before it put us to sleep, the score was nil-nil when we conked out, and the same when we awoke.
While it'll never take off here outside of the illegal alien population, It is popular in Europe, and the rest of those little countries out there that nobody here has ever heard of. My neighbor couldn't find Belgium on a map if her life depended on it. In fact, I'm sure she has no idea it's a country at all.
Soccer Sucks
If they really want soccer to take off here, there needs to be some changes. First, they should arm the players with baseball bats. Watching them beat the shit out of each other might even get me to tune in! In the NFL, there's TONS of violence.
Take that guy at the end of the soccer field that guards that little hut. Just imagine the look on his face as members of the opposing team bare down on him with bats at the ready. They'd beat the living crap out of him! Who's wouldn't want to see that?
BTW, if you made it this far, congratulations! Almost everything above comes with an early-morning sarcasm alert. :) Except soccer, which really does put us to sleep. I will NEVER understand why it's popular in the rest of the world, it truly is boring. With everything that's going on right now, it helps to have a chuckle now and then. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, so put a smile on your face and go out and own the day!