Hello everyone! It's me again. Been a while since I posted about some certain situations in my life and yes, I still have a lot to share.
Well, technically I'm that type of person who enjoys the company of being alone. I just love to do things on my own cause I know I have nothing to think about but I do have some circle of friends. The circle of friends that I'm really not sure about if I do belong or I'm just there for inconvenience or probably just overthinking the entire situation.
For todays' blog I will share to everyone on what I had felt these days and what had happened lately that made me rethink of my path in life especially in socializing and making friends.
Have you ever been in a situation wherein you'll have to ask about the true worth of yourself? Like, when did it all started to take turns? What have you done to make people simply treat you in the coldest way? What's really into yourself that makes almost everyone to cut you off? There are certain matters or situations in our life where we have to ask ourselves if we did what we have to do. The situation that makes you ask yourself about yourself worth.
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Definitely is frustrating and it can lead on to something serious. As a sensitive type of person, mostly dealing and thinking about it almost all the time is one way to cope it up but also destroys your emotional state and mental state at the same time. At this point of my life, I no longer want to trust and associate with anyone else again. The trauma is really hard to fight on. This situation is currently happening to me and all I feel now is disappointment and self-blame. I'm disappointed to the fact that I can't be that friend or being that fits the taste of anyone. I'm blaming myself for not trying to be someone that they want. Yes, I believe that change is a must but if anyone wanted you to change according to their liking then its' never the right thing to do.
It's frustrating to think how someone you knew for a long time will then suddenly turn away from you and forget everything that both of you had done and enjoyed. To think that they've used you for your kindness and took you for granted and then leave you behind like nothing else was done. Yes, something was done after the leaving part. The damage is already created, the heart of the sensitive being is being crumbled into pieces like being thrown away and stumbling anywhere on an empty road. Leaving to think of what could have happened, what could have been done to prevent it, or is it really meant to happen. A lot of unanswered questions speaks through the mind and haunts the heart out with frustration and regret. The regret of having to trust again when the self is not supposed to. I know how hard it is to conquer the emotion and to make sure that yourself is in control. However, it takes time to conquer or to fight off the trauma left in the scars of the heart. It takes process on how to overcome the fear of waking up and dealing with such things all over again. It's tiring, frustrating, and dangerous for the mind and the heart.
But what do you have to risk? What do you have to lose? The self had fought hard to redeem your true self. Conquered the darkness and void to heal the self again. Scars are there already but that shall serve as a lesson. A constant reminder to always keep choosing what's best for the self and what's suits best for you. Take a stand and remain untouchable. Be that strong being you're supposed to because the world will always try and try to bring you down but all you can do is to rise up and make your yourself stand for what you truly deserve. The world will not always revolve around you. Losing friends, loved ones, and important things is painful yet it's normal.
We should live a life that aligns to what we want and according to our needs. Certain situation of challenges is yet to come but all it takes is a well-prepared leap of faith. Make a stand, choose to be yourself without the fear of being left alone. Cause at the end of the day, all you have is yourself.
I know to myself that I'm not yet fully healed with the traumas I had encountered and still agonizing my emotions. Yet, I believe that I will conquer everything and will start anew. Thank you so much for taking time in reading my blog, your exerted time is truly appreciated. See you all again on my next blog! God bless!