Seeing and hearing the word "Victimization" sends lots of memories to my brain, and here am I, shaking my head to what life has thrown at me and my mental wellbeing over the last few years of my life. From experience, I have learned that victimization involves harmful actions, emotional abuses, bullying, and discrimination, inflicted by individuals or groups upon others.
My mindset and sense of trust towards others have changed drastically because of my experience with some of these issues of victimization. There's a traditional saying among my people which says "It's a man that makes another man to be wicked."
Just when I was still 11 years of age, my colleagues and I faced the highest level of bullying, discrimination, and emotional abuse. It was our first year in the Nigeria Military School (NMS) and as the most junior set of pupils we we intimidating and bullied by everybody in the school.
The NMS is just like a normal secondary school with 6 levels (From JSS 1 to SSS 3). So the idea is that after spending 6 years in this school, we would all graduate to becoming soldiers of our country. So from JSS 1, we are treated and trained as soldiers, to respect our superiors and take whatever orders they give to us.
I felt the highest level of bullying in this school and that has shaped my behavior and mentality towards others. At first when endured all the beating and hatred giving to us by the whole school because we saw it as training, but I later began to see it as wickedness when a senior colleague of mine (Kelvin) made my stay in the NMS a living hell.
I knew Kelvin and his family even before he entered the NMS 5 years before I came in. Infact at that tender age of mine, I had dated Kelvin's sister and we had even broken up. So here's Kelvin trying to get revenge on me for making his sister my ex. I knew he hated me, but he was my far senior and I wouldn't dare challenge his authority, as he took advantage and bullied me all in the name of training.
I was avoiding and trying to escape from him everyday and because of that I don not go to classes some days. In the first 3 years of my stay in the Nigerian Military School, I performed very poorly academically and mentally. Even after Kelvin graduated, he had boys that kept tormenting my life in that school until I broke into the worst part of me, as I grew bitter and lost my trust and emotion for others.
Imagine looking at your body and seeing everlasting scars that constantly reminds you of the pain of the past, that happened to you when you were still innocent and respectful, it would surely affect your mentality negatively. Sometimes the thought of the past always come with anxiety, depression and a sense of unworthiness, but we are warriors though, we overcame the days we never thought we would.
I went into the NMS with the joy of growing up to defend my nation, but it caused me my mental wellbeing and peace of mind in the process. At a point, I lost interest on my hobbies and passions, as it was replaced with a feelings of emptiness and disconnection.
Victimization is something that we should try to control especially in this current generation of depressed teens, lol. Not everyone is a warrior like me to have survived all I went through, because many people would have committed suicide, lol.
But I love my mentality though, because I didn't completely break down. Instead my experience with victimization has taught me resilience, the value of selfcare, and the enduring strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity.
Conclusively, I would recommend that we take care of our mental health, because the highest level of stress a man could go through is mental stress. We should try not to victimize others, neither should we let ourselves be victimized because this thing usually affects our future.
My entry for day 3 of the InLeo monthly prompt, organized by the InLeo team. You can check out the link here for participation.
All images as used in this article are mine.
I appreciate your time around here❤️:-)