Hello everyone!
I don’t usually get into writing here but thought this week I would try my hand at answering the @ecotrain question of the week asked by @nikolina as to
“Why we fall in love with certain people and why is it hard to get over a relationship break up.”
So much of who we are and what we do is based on the incredible memory of our bodies that we take from past generations. You may of course notice physical appearances that you have in common with your past family generations but it goes way deeper than that.
If you doubt this in any way let me give you a clear example from my own life as personal experience is so much more dependable than opinions you can read of and choose whether to believe or not.
When I was 21 I wrote my first work of fiction. It was great fun to write but it was never published ( the book agents of that time said it was well written but it was not the right time for sword and sorcery stories - this was pre Harry Potter I should mention 😂 )
My mother was interested to read what I had written so I sent her the manuscript. I knew it probably wasn’t “her thing” but like a good mum she read it anyway.
The phone call I got from her a few days later was very interesting.
At this point I need to tell you my grandmother had been an author who had over 40 books published over the years...mostly desert romances written around the 1930’s and 1940’s. We had some copies of some of them at home when I was growing up but I never read any of them as the subject matter seemed old fashioned and was of no interest to me as a child.
So back to the phone call that followed my mum reading my manuscript. She said the hairs on the back of her neck had stood on end as she read my words because it was SO reminiscent to her of my grandmothers style of writing!!!
Despite the fact I had never read any of her works. 😂
So yes I am very aware of how our bodies soak up so much memory and hang onto it.
I feel this has a great bearing therefore on the relationships we form in our lifetimes. This can be for the good or not so good. If our choices in partners/lovers does not seem to be good for us on reflection then it is extremely important we work on changing the cycle of memory.
Our choices are most likely connected to body memory and so may not be the best thing for us in our lifetime.
You can see people making repeated similar mistakes on choosing not suitable partners too through the years.... most of us know someone who makes you think to yourself.. “why does Miss X always end up with drunken fools? Doesn’t she learn ever?”
Well some people are capable and fully awake enough to not make similar mistakes choosing partners in their lives but many others just plough on blindly without such awareness.
It is absolutely possible to stop these potentially detrimental cycles if we work on our inner selves. Of course many people also make good choices through memory and live very happily with their partners for many years so memory does not have to be a bad thing.
Why is it hard to end and get over a relationship ?
The answer to this stems from the same stored memory phenomena. When we form love affairs and connections most people’s greatest desire is to get as close as is possible to that other person. To become one with them as much as they can. This will be a wonderful thing in the early months or years of a relationship and make you feel elation and bliss to have such a close connection through sex and living and sharing all things together. Your partner becomes like an extra limb of your body, you can even think as one even much of the time. These types of relationships are inevitably based particularly on emotions.
Therefore when your emotional requirement of that other person starts to falter in certain ways due to inevitable changes that go on through our lives evolving, love can turn to anger and hatred as things don’t proceed the way you want them to and this can obviously end up with the breakup of relationships.
Whether or not you are the instigator of a relationship breakup, when it comes you will feel the pain of separation because your being has so much memory of that other person it will feel like you are literally tearing an extra limb you had grown from your body. There is pain, there is suffering and time required to re-adjust your whole psyche to been apart from them. It can challenge you on various mental levels that you could not have imagined.
So memory plays a HUGE part in our lives. As a side note - maybe this stems in part from the fact that we are 77 percent water...... and it is well known scientifically these days how water has an extraordinary capability to store memory from influences in its surroundings..... but that’s another fascinating story for another day.
Stay Wild everyone!!