Hello Bea ladies of Hive, I am happy to be here with you again to join in this week contest with two thought provoking questions. I saw this contest through a post I consumed few minutes ago and I can't let go off my mind. I am persuaded by my spirit to write on the first topic,I told you that please continue reading to see why I chose the topic.
1️⃣ Hearing certain words after making a mistake and feeling judged and attacked in the deepest part of our being, what do you think of this phrase: "I told you so?" Would you also say it to someone else?
For my many years on earth, I have not giving thought to this I told you that the way I did now. There are some mistake we make in life when talking to our children, husband,wife, maid, school mate, employees etc, without knowing is not the write way to present our word even though we mean good for the person.
The phrase I told you that is an indication that someone has failed in his plan because he or she didn't listen to you. Now the person has regretted his or her actions and decisions. The person is in pain, sorrow and down hearted. Although we can't remove the pain from the person but we can help. When we use the word I told you that, it means we are attacking the person. We are prioritizing our opinion over that person own. We are been judgemental,dismisive, can I say we are been cruel to the person. One fact is that, the person is emotionally down. It's not the right time to disrespect their dignity, not the time to make them feel ashamed rather it is the time to show empathy.
It is time we remember that we took can make such mistake. Will we like it if someone use the wordI told you that for us?. If no, it time we help and ask, what do you think I can do to help you in this situation.
Better approach
Instead of sayingI told you that, we can say in a kind way, I know is hard. What do you think we can do differently. I understand your feelings, we all make mistakes. If possible,let her know that you too have made mistakes in the past but you seeked for help. Help the person know is not time to be left alone, it's time to get up, do some exercise, eat healthy food. It is time to show the person that you are a good friend who is there for him or her.
Should I say it someone else?
Honestly I been saying that to my children when they did not heed to my advice and fail. It is very easy to say, I told you that, but you didn't hear, if you had listened to me,this wouldn't have happened. On my own part part, after saying it, I will still help him or her to recover by talking to her, suggesting something new or asking how to help.
After writing down this, going through this thought provoking question, I won't be in a hurry to say I told you that knowing too well that so many today committed suicide or suffer low self-esteem, depression for a long time because of another person attacking them for their mistake instead of being a shoulder for them to lean on. The word is so simple but too hard to endure when emotions is down.
Finally, I want to appreciate @cautiva-30 for this week question, I can happily said, it is beneficial for me and to those I have shared the information with.