Since 2019 my life has been greatly revolutionized. 2019 came overwhelming to my life, without a doubt the portal of the 59 came to tell me that nothing would stay in its place ... and since then, like a tree when autumn arrives I have not stopped shedding saying goodbye "leaves and more leaves in my life".

It is a period where nothing is in place. Where thousands of things lose meaning, meaning value and so many others, which were every day, become deeply significant.

A new order is coming to my life

Today I embrace those who, together with Mother Earth in the Northern Hemisphere, live autumns in their lives and I invite you to be loving in detachment, in detachment, in those goodbyes. May you be patient before the mysteries of the dark winter of uncertainty and silence, and may your sparks of inner light guide you towards a new spring in your souls.

Today, I hug all the women who are in full metamorphosis... So many mothers have seen their children emigrate anywhere in the world. Those who have said goodbye to loved ones taken away by the pandemic. To whom the lockdown revealed that their married couples were not working, and today they are going through a divorce-separation. Perhaps the pandemic threw many into that dimension. Thank God, my marriage crystallized and became a diamond after these avatars.

The moving, the dropping of leaves is like the butterfly stripping off everything to enter its cocoon without knowing what is going to be born, this is how the transformation happens.

We all go through those little and big autumns, whether we realize it or not. I know that this human historical period that we have had to live, it is obsessed with the linear, denying that our human growth is also cyclical, and every day something dies to have more life ... It is frantic in the search for happiness (even when it is not defined what happiness is) and is deeply infantilizing to deny and/or promote the avoidance of pain and the duels in life.

I don't know if it's the age I have that makes me be as deep as the sea in my ideas, lyrics, and thoughts, the time of the moment sometimes loses all sense. How much need to change, “I'm living that shake” ... it's as if they had changed my place to see things from another perspective, I've put a mirror that points my body to the sky to be able to see better.

This is how I've felt for the last few years

I have a very dear aunt, her name is Noita, she is an almost 87-year-old woman and later, when I talk to her, she tells me that getting older is “horrible” for her, after listening to her and asking why she says it. She replies to me that almost all her spaces are made of chaos, that chaos of transformation, of the creative moment... also of that one that gives her vertigo and makes her feel fears and pains to the skin... I feel that for my aunt Noita, this time in her life has been and is a time of deep revision.

Undoubtedly, a universe of wonderful experiences, of endless experiences working together with such a diversity of women like my aunt and the lineage where I come from (my mother) and continuing to understand, more and more, the codes of my family clan (my daughters). I feel great gratitude for what each one contributes and has contributed. And I also recognize that there is a part that has been increasingly exhausting for me and that has led me to a very “yang” energy, very mental, direction, and effort, that I can no longer and do not want to continue holding.

It's so challenging to live through these metamorphoses

This whole process of transformation clearly coincides with my stage and the climacteric stage and with an urgent need to” prune", to review the past, to face up, again, the patterns and shadows in me that hurt me, take me away from me, from my purest essence and also manifest themselves in a dense way in my relationships.

It is a change of skin that involves releasing, again, layers of demands, of self-demands ... and giving it space, embracing, once again, my fragility and vulnerability. My body lately is giving me very clear signals that I need to slow down, and with it, reconnect with what really makes sense and nourishes me.

Accepting the inescapable in life hurts, but it is the only way to peace

There are so many, so many women in my family and in my close affections that I am accompanying in their metamorphoses ... in crossing their own thresholds, that is why I share publicly my lines of reflection for my years lived because I continue to marvel at synchronicity, with the surprising link between what is personal and what is collective.

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