My cat Simba is a mentally ill cat. He must be my spirit animal. One of his pet peeves (pun intended) is that he hates being touched anywhere but his head. If you pet him anywhere but his head, he will bite you.
Yes, he is afflicted. But I am too.
To prove my point, the msallest things seem to agitate me to no end these days. Kind of like Simba getting a good petting on his back. It doesn't take much either; someone not holding a door for someone with their hands full, the jerk who leaves their cart in the middle of the aisle. the pushy salesperson ringing my doorbell to upsell me Internet service even though I have a "NO SOLICITING" sticker on the door.
That last one is sort of the prompt for this post. Two days ago, some young ladies came to the door, rang my doorbell that sits right next to the door at eyelevel with the "NO SOLICITING" sticket. After wrestling with my dogs, who lose their dman minds when the doorbell rings, I cracked the door open.
Immediantely I knew they were salespeople. My immediate thought was to just close the door, but the manners I was raised with would not allow it. I quickly shoved one of my dogs back inside with one foot as I tried to ask them what they needed. This was already irritating me.
One young lady started a slaes pitch about AT&T Internet speeds in my area and asked if I wanted to switch from my current service. While still wrestling with a dog with one leg, I told her no thank you and I was not interested and satisfied with my current provider and service. I then slowly closed the door.
Relieved that my struggle with the dog was finsihed, I shuffled back to my recliner, plopped down and started stewing. This was the thrid time a salesperson from AT&T had knocked on my door in about as many weeks. Both ignoring the "NO SOLICITING" sticker.
Why was I being so courteous to these people, when they could not be courteous enough to my household to respect my request to not be solicited at my own house. I continued to stew.
There was a time when I was younger that I would not have tolerated such behavior and would have gave them an ear full. Sometimes that earfull would be laiden with expletives.
However, as I have gotten older, I noticed that I have become more tolderable of bad behavior. It's not that I condone or even like it, but it seems the "juice just isn't worth the squeeze" anymore. In fact, most people when you give them an earful about their bad behavior will try and turn it wround and blame you for their misdeed(s).
It would feel good though to give these jerkoffs a good tongue lashing occasionally, but my better angels have control nowadays. Escalation of the situation through my diatribe would only make things worse, increase my anxiety and plus I might be the asshole that ends up in the clink as big bubbas love toy.
Next time, I think I will just kindly point out the sign, and close the door, have a stiff drink, and go back to doing what I was doing. Maybe walk on my walking pad for a bit and thnk about hanging them by their toenails.
On a more serious note, this is something I am hoping to explore more and make some discoveries about in The Body Keeps the Score. If anything, maybe discuss with the therapist why she thinks I get so easily triggered by such seemingly insignificant afronts and minor acts of rudeness.
Yes, I have mellowed out as I've aged, but I would like to get a little more mellow in processing such things. Society is not getting any more polite, so my experiences are not going to improve anytime soon.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
-Images are my own unless otherwise noted.
-Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE.
-Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
