In my previous post, I spoke briefly to you, tell what the story had been like with my dad, and the impact it had on me. And if you have not read it, I invite you to do so. Believe me ... you won't regret it.
My dad was a handsome, affectionate, friendly young man, perhaps even immature. He apparently led a quiet life, despite the fact that, like me, he had been separated from his father since he was very young.
It wasn't like going out with women much, and before being with my mom and having me, she only had 2.
The story of both began as a very strong friendship, in which at some point they came to consider themselves "best friends." And here you can see the fruit of those "best friends" hahaha.
They study together at university, they were the same age, and had the same tastes. Ah ... And also the same love for parties.
From so much time together, and from so many things lived, love arose
My mom has told me, the infinity of times they went out, enjoyed and dawned at parties. Then the next day, go to class again, and go to work in the afternoon.
And from that love, I emerged. Something totally unexpected, what would dramatically change the course of their lives.
At 22 years old, my mom became pregnant. At that time I did not have the support of any of my maternal grandparents, nor did I have a stable job, since I only worked at Mc 'Donalds to cover some expenses, such as residence, and to be able to.
And my dad ... My dad, just like my mom, only had a temporary job. But unlike my mom, if she had all the unconditional support of her family, for anything
That is why, when the news of the pregnancy was known, everything began to go downhill. Why take responsibility for a child is something big, something that perhaps no one was prepared for.
At that time, each one assumed a different position, my mother on the one hand, wanted to take care of her pregnancy on her own. And my dad, I take a calm attitude, without much concern.
At the time of having me, my mother had already met another person, someone who at the time, for her, was the best. Since he helped her in everything she needed, both financially and in care for her son.
At that point, neither wanted to re-establish a relationship with the other. And the dispute began, who was going to stay with me?
No one ever agreed to joint custody. No one wanted to compromise, and it was all or nothing. They never thought of having me, and quietly letting me see my mom, or my dad. It depends on what will happen. It was simply: "I have it, and you won't see it anymore"
¡Mi papa y yo,en una visita controlada!
Therein lies the big mistake in all of this. What destroyed everything.
Driven by anger, they never thought of me, and how I would feel, if I never saw either of them again. They only thought of them, and what suited them best.
Apparently, at that time, the most interested in staying with me, and doing everything so that I would not see my dad again, was my mom.
So much so, that she decided to marry the person she had known while pregnant, to end this fight. Because legally, a married couple has much more strength than a single man. And in those days, her belly was beginning to show, from her second pregnancy.
¡El matrimonio!
With all this, the custody was legally in the hands of my mother, and in case it was not enough, after doing that, I made the decision to move from where we lived, and flee from that place, never to know about my father again.
A terrible decision, that until today I ask myself: "Why?"
At the time, I didn't know anything. And I lived deceived with the excuse of not being able to see my dad, due to different "problems". "Problems", which led me to a life full of sadness, and without ever knowing what happened.
At that key moment in history my mom decided to have me, despite everything. You simply would have decided not to, and you save yourself a lot of trouble and tragedy. But he did. And still, with everything I've been through. I continue to thank you very much.
From all this I have a lesson, and that even without being a father, and without goals to be. Because the last thing I want is to have a child, and to live again, everything that I lived. So I prefer to avoid it.
And it is what, NEVER, NEVER, SEPARATE PARENTS AND CHILDREN.
Because it is the worst decision you can make.
Always try to support your family, give keep love, give keep togetherness. Always try to solve the problems with your partner, and that for no reason, their problems become problems of the whole family.
If such is the case, that there is no way, to save your relationship. Never stop your children from seeing their father or mother
They don't know how much I would give, to be able to return time, and do anything ... Whatever, to have a real family. One like the one many have, and they don't realize how beautiful it is. And how many people do we not have that.
But what is done, this is done and the truth is, I had to learn to live like this, in a dysfunctional family. And make my life from it. Always seeing the other children with their parents, and talking about them, while I wondered where mine would be, if she still loved me, or perhaps if she had even forgotten about me. This is a very bad, and unpleasant, feeling that I really do not wish on anyone. So, if you have the privilege of being part of a close family, and that their love has lasted for years. Value it and take good care of it, and don't throw everything in the trash, just for a moment. That maybe when you do you will feel that it is the best, but after the time you will realize that it was a very bad decision, and it will be too late to correct the error.
The love, and the satisfaction it gives, to have your father, and your mother, in the same house, in the same home. Living together, and doing everything possible, because you get ahead, always supporting you. That ... That is something too valuable, and that you should never deprive your children, make it known
If you have come this far ... Thank you very much for reading me.