There was no emergency, but her eyes looked like she was caught in between an accident. I asked her a typical question:
“Have you always wanted to be a doctor?”
She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
“Yes, but I graduated as a nurse. I’ve always wanted to help people, just like this. Before I was in another department and thanks to Dr. Donna, I’m with her here. I’m pretty content with where I am but I don’t know if that’s a good thing,”
Something tells me that her casual confession meant something more. It is probably the way I notice how people has this certain look in their eyes, hinting me to probe more and listen. So I did.
“What do you mean by 'content'?”
“Oh,” she said. “I have a good job that pays well – not too much – just exact. It pays my bills and some treats when I want to. I’m single and I don’t have kids but I’m close with my siblings. But I don’t know if it’s okay to settle and be content,”
“Yeah it sounds like there’s more you could do with this life, but I also hope that you know that what you are doing is enough–“
She met my eyes again and I saw it lit up.
“That’s true, what we are doing is enough. It’s just that I wish the people around me, whom I work with, have the same passion or are equally determined to help solve many issues in the public health,” she sighed.
“Ahh, I see. I’m understanding more where you’re coming from. There are people who could do more, but opt not to. They see it just as a job and underperform, basically, the healthcare of the Philippines.”
The ambulance took a sharp turn and we momentarily paused our conversation.
Undoubtedly, public health in our country involves many problems from the traditional medical billing systems, expensive treatments, insurances, malpractices of clinicians, and the list goes on. I could see Dr. Flor as a young physician who had this dream of contributing greatly to the Filipinos but being met with the tumultuous task of being in a corrupt and broken system.
Like a candle burning brightly, she faded out quickly. She was tired and I couldn’t help but wonder whether in the future, twenty to thirty years from now, I would feel almost hopeless lobbying for the mental health of Filipinos. However, the fact that she was here inside the ambulance with me served as proof she wasn’t giving up.
Also, I understand how lonely it could feel when you have a passionate spirit around those who gave up on a meaningful life. While you could speculate that they are going through life in their own ways, one can’t escape the loneliness. Or maybe I just find only a few mental health advocates here in Lipa City and I might need to reach out to the big cities.
Perhaps I miss talking about collective healing with someone who believes in it too and somehow, Dr. Flor, deep down, is an advocate as well.
Let's end it here for now 😁 Last chapter is the next one!
Did you read the first chapter? It's right here.
𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘋𝘳. 𝘍𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦? 👀