I don't ask for much from my friends, I just don't feel right doing that because I like being independent but also don't want to impose on anyone. I like them to be honest though, engaging and interesting - don't we all want that from our friends? I also want them to feel able to open up to me, to trust me to some degree, and to ask of me when they have a need because I'm generous and helpful and value my friends enough that I'd do a great deal for them.
But I don't ask that they do that, I just like my friends to be like that and if they're not...well, they tend to drift out of my small and valued friends group and into the less important acquaintance group so it becomes a moot point.
A little while back a friend of mine announced she was going to take up a new hobby, making sourdough bread. I thought it was awesome because I love sourdough bread despite only being able to consume small amounts (far too many carbs in bread). Of course, I encouraged her but didn't ask her for any; that's just not my way. But did I want some? Yes.
A few days ago my phone went ping and on checking the message saw it was that friend asking if I was home that afternoon. I was and said so and about an hour later my doorbell went ping pong and there she was. (My doorbell doesn't actually go ping pong but you get the idea.)
She had in hand a little wrapped packet and I knew instinctively what it was. Fuck yeah, it's sourdough bread, is what I wanted to say but I curbed my enthusiasm and let her present me with her gift. I was very grateful, invited her in and over coffee chatted about her sourdough bread-making process and other things.
I have a group around me of like-minded people who grow, farm and make their own things like fresh produce, eggs, meat, jams, honey, relish and preserves, cakes and biscuits to name just a few; these are swapped between us. We exchange services and skills also; my input is fresh-grown produce from my garden and meat I've shot while out hunting: Venison, kangaroo, wild boar and the like.
There's always something for something, a barter system so to speak, but we also give gifts just because we want to, we do nice things for others because they may need it or not; it's called generosity, and that's what my friend did for me the other day with the bread.
It was a sweet gesture and I was very humbled to receive her very first non-trial loaf of sourdough bread which tasted quite spectacular...I mean the small bit I actually had. I'm looking forward to some more which I know will come.
Have you ever operated on a barter system? It's quote rare these days although I now it happens. If you have (or still do) feel free to tell me about it if you'd like to in the comments below.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own