In the Weekend Engagement Topics - Week 264, I came across the interesting questions and topics you can write about for the weekend. What really caught my attention was the last question "Have you ever found yourself being unkind to, or hard on, yourself? Explain."
Realizations kept coming through the moment I read it. Like it was meant for me to answer. The question felt personal to me, and here I am looking back at times when I became my own enemy.
Just like most people, I also have insecurities. There are moment when I look at the mirror and feel like being the ugliest person alive. There are days when I pity myself for not seeing progress in my career or my life. And the moment I start feeling them, I become hard on myself.
There was a time when I found myself not eating the whole day because I wanted to lose weight so bad. I exercised for hours every day, literally pushing myself to limits. I started talking bad to myself, and slowly losing confidence.
There are days when I look at social media, and see some colleagues doing better in life. I will feel insecure again, then blame myself for not being good enough and for not doing my best in life. I even looked at myself as a failure, and criticized every decision I made in life.
Those were the moments I remember that I have been unkind to my own self, and I know I did not deserve that. I don't know if it's just me, or everyone else also experience the same thing.
I had no idea I was being too hard on myself until I felt so small and broke down. Little by little, I started learning how to love the parts of me that I thought was unlovable.
Hive Blog No. 165
Date Published: June 30, 2025
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