To be honest, I never really wanted to become a teacher, and this was not even on the list of the careers that I had been planning to take. But because of this one moment—a moment where I was standing in front of my classmates, my laptop on the desk and the projector already turned on, I found myself teaching my classmates and act like how a teacher would towards his or her students. What's up, Hivers? @makiyumee here and today, I will be sharing to you one of my unforgettable memories back when I was still a third-year college student. I hope you stay with me until the end, so here we go.
I remembered that it was Saturday that day and I was so nervous while waiting on my seat for my turn. My palms were sweating, and I couldn't manage to stop my foot from tapping on the floor. I was anxious and impatient. I couldn't seem to be in peace because of how nervous I was. The air coming from the air conditioner, despite being on fan mode, the air inside the room seemed to be so cold. Instead of feeling calm, it made me even more nervous. I observed my classmates, and they all seem to be doing well.
I couldn't help but ask myself. Will I do a good job just like them or will I fail? I was still thinking a lot of 'what if's' inside my mind when I was suddenly called, and it was my time to deliver my demonstration. I was shaking and trembling but then I remembered all the sleepless nights that I experienced making my PowerPoint presentation and lesson plan perfect and practicing my discussion flow again and again. So, I started my teaching demonstration despite feeling nervous.
At first, it was like torture for me. I almost forgot the flow of my discussion because of how nervous I was but when I noticed that our teacher was looking at me as if she was testing me. I found myself taking a deep breath to clear my thoughts and think about all of it again. One thing became to come clear inside my mind and it was to finish the demonstration, or I will repeat that course. So, I continued my teaching demonstration. I imagined myself as a teacher in front of my classmates that were acting as students.
I forgot about my flow—that very same discussion flow that I had practiced for countless of nights. I made a different flow that day and I followed my instincts. I found myself sharing and teaching my topic to my classmates in a way that made me surprise because I did not know that I was capable of doing such kinds of actions. I always knew that I was never going to be a teacher. I just went to the university because the tuition was free and it was near home. But that day, I felt different.
After all of us had finished our teaching demonstration, it was finally time for our teacher to give us our scores and feedbacks. As I waited for my score sheet to be released, I silently prayed that I got a passing score since I know my classmates got higher scores after they performed so much better than me. I have no regrets though because I was not even aiming for something that I could not achieve, I was only aiming for something that was within reach. But unexpectedly, when my teacher gave me my score sheet, she announced that I was one of the top 6 best demonstrators. Her announcement made me froze and I was like: "Why? My performance was not even that good compared to my classmates."
When I read my teacher's feedback, there I realized that she saw something in me that she did not notice or see from my other classmates. She noted that I was a natural despite being so nervous in front. She noticed how I blanked out shortly because of being so nervous but despite that, m teacher added that she liked the way how I shared my own insights, story, and communicated effectively to my classmates who were my students that time. I was dumbfounded and speechless, I did not know how to react because everything was just so sudden.
That evening, my friends and I went to our house to celebrate because we finally finished our last teaching demonstration and when we talked about the feedback that we got, my friends congratulated me for unexpectedly being one of the best demonstrators. I told them how I did not expect for that to happen but then I learned that their comments about my performance was just like what my teacher had told me earlier that day.
Learning and hearing about that made me think again. Maybe I should give teaching a shot, maybe I should give it a go since receiving those kinds of feedback doesn't sound like I was doing a bad job at my course. In the future, maybe being a teacher will be one of my careers to consider. When at first, I did not like the idea of teaching students but after that last teaching demonstration, my views about teaching seem to change. I feel more motivated to try teaching real students this time and not my classmates.
Now that my internships are fast approaching, I guess this is finally the opportunity for me to exercise my skills in teaching, connect to the students and share my what I had learned to them. This time, I will definitely find out if teaching is really for me or just another job that I will consider as a second or third option in the near future. I hope I will realize everything soon. That would be all for today. Thank you so much and I will see you all on the next one!
