Why The Abuser Blames You even When You're The Victim
Narcissists go by many names, manipulators, gaslighters, abusers, etc
No matter the name you use in identifying them, they all share one unique characteristic, manipulation. Whenever they can achieve it they wouldn't delay acting it. The means they adopt to achieve it might be diverse but the intention remains the same. though it's considered a disorder it can be worked on by the individual who has the syndrome and wants to manipulate it less.
They would need a psychologist or a therapist for guidance, however their willpower would determine their success. But some who are narcissistic prefer not to see themselves as one and continue their terror.
Befriending such people is not likely to develop into a healthy relationship because you'll likely suffer diverse manipulation tactics and blame pushing is one of the most common ones.
Blame shifting is a manipulative tactic where an innocent person involuntarily earns the blames in an action they didn't commit. Whether they were convinced to do it, pressured, or even set up. So, when the person intends to not take blames for that action and it happens to
fall on a person it's blame shifting.
Example from Abuser
So, if you're working with a group of people you notice that all fingers will be pointing at you whenever things go wrong, even when you're innocent. Observe your mates if you see anyone with a solid narcissistic tendency then the shifting of blame might be coming from that angle.
Narcissists often shift blame because of their self-esteem they usually have over-related self-esteem making them see themselves as people without flaws. So, whenever they make a mistake, someone must be blamed because they can't lower their self-esteem and accept that they're flawed hence it can't be them.
Again as much as we've discussed how blame shifting can happen at the workplace. it doesn't mean we can't have narcissists as parents, close friends, or even lovers but if you happen to b siblings with a narcissist you're likely to be conversant with the phrase you caused it and often you would be the one to take the blames for all that goes wrong, when both of you play from the time you were kids to maybe adulthood.
For instance you might tell your narcissistic sibling that you want to play and they accept to play with you and while playing they happen to break a glass which turns out to injure you.
They won't feel like it's their fault, you got injured. Instead they would say you started the game in the first place and here's the result that they wouldn't have agreed to play with you in the first place and that it's all your fault and at no times they would likely shed tears before you the injured one.
Does therefore it's in their psychology to feel flawless at all costs hence if you happen to be in the picture when things go wrong even if you're the victim, you're likely to suffer because narcissists are too perfect to be blamed for anything.
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