In the last 48 hours, I have been through a lot of mental stress and serious anxiety. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions and my head felt so scattered, and I didn’t even understand what I was doing with my life in those couple of hours. I was panicking, and I couldn’t find the word ‘peace of mind’ in my dictionary at the time.
So, it all began when a girl announced on my departmental group chat that we'd be having our post data on Thursday and Friday, along with some other little details. I think that was on Wednesday. Guysssss, my heart started racing like a carousel o, because what do I have to present to my eager lecturers in less than 24 hours?
What can I even gather together that would make sense enough to put on a big screen before my lecturers? Even if I am able to gather something together, how will I deliver with confidence when I know I did rushed work? I wanted to cry, but I knew I didn’t even have the time to; every second counted.
To be honest, though, we all knew our post-data was approaching, and we were given a date (that was during the pre-data seminar). The only tricky part was that there was no announcement whatsoever concerning the post-data seminar, and the date that was given was even a public holiday, so, you know, everyone was somewhat relaxed.
Have you ever prayed to God for a test to be canceled because you were not ready? 😂😂. Or something should not happen because of you? As I was panicking, I was saying a silent prayer to beg him to enter the minds of my lecturers to shift the date of the post-data because His daughter wasn’t ready yet.
The most annoying part was that even after that girl said that to the group, there were just a few reactions, and after a while, no one said anything concerning the matter again. ‘I thought we were in this together, guys!😭’ I wondered if they were silent because they were ready for the post-data, or because they were like me, trying to set something up, if the seminar eventually held.
I knew for a fact that almost everyone wasn’t ready. We were at the data gathering stage, and this stage is undoubtedly the most hectic in the whole project. From deciding the models to use, to actually gathering the data and analyzing it, after. It’s a whole lot, and I, for one, felt so lost. That is exactly the reason I wasn’t ready for my post-data yet.
Anytime I try to work on my project, everything just starts to look so ambiguous and get so overwhelming that I eventually close my laptop. Don’t judge me😭, I couldn’t proceed with a process I wasn’t understanding at all. Final year is choking me and I am even capping.
I called my HOC (head of class) several times, but he didn’t pick up. I panicked more because he was the only person who could give me the quality information I needed. I started calling my project partner after, and he didn’t pick up my calls either (I later found out he couldn't because his phone was having issues and also because he wasn’t feeling well). I was so confused and frustrated.
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I later calmed my head down and decided to do something tangible. I was able to put my questionnaire in one piece at @starstrings01’s place, while listening to some really nice music. He is the sweetest person, for real. He helped ease the tension and even helped with typing for me, as he is the best at typing🙌🙌 (He writes ove100 wpm😌😌😌)
I was later able to reach my HOC and project partner. My HOC told me not to panic because almost all of us haven’t done so much (I felt kind of relieved that I wasn’t alone in the whole thing). He said he has only been able to gather a few data and hasn’t done anything very significant worth presenting.
He further explained that he hasn’t been able to get information concerning the post-data seminar, and he can’t say for sure if the seminar would hold or not. God knows I needed specific information, but well, we just chose to hope that it doesn’t hold. It was a typical God Abeg moment for me.
My project partner, on the other hand, wasn’t even aware of the post-data seminar information that was dropped in the group. You need to see his facial expression when I tell him about it😂😂. He said if post-data was truly the next day, that means he has already scored zero and there is no hope for him at all😂.
With all the confidence in the world, he said the post-data can’t hold. I don’t know if you can picture this scenario, but honestly, this is the belief anyone would hold on to in such a situation. Somehow, his confidence helped me calm down more, but I continued working on what I could, sent it to my supervisor via Gmail, and awaited a response.
Can you guess if the post-data seminar later hold or not?
Before I tell you, honestly, my departmental mates are too funny. None of them said a thing about the post-data seminar, and I was so confused😂. I really need that kind of confidence in my life. The only person that managed to say something only got a laughing emoji reaction😂💔
Well, if you guessed the post-data seminar didn’t hold, you are correct! And you’ve won yourself a hug from me for wishing me well😌😂😂😂. I was , I really, from the bottom of my heart, was super glad the seminar didn’t hold. I would have disgraced myself, and I might not even have the strength to write this post because I would be soaked in my own tears😂😂😂
I will make sure to do the necessary things I need to do with my project before they announce the next date, afflictions shall not rise twice!😌🤲
Thanks for reading❤️