The 86-year-old has committed hundreds of atrocities on the site.
Tel Aviv, July 15 - Israeli analyst have concluded that despite nearly to weeks of precision strikes on strategic, nuclear, military, and other sites all over the Islamic Republic, Iran's Supreme Leader has not been permanently cut off from his most critical asset: the dating app account that he uses to find one-night stands with other men.
IDF, Ministry of Defense, and Mossad personnel issued a report yesterday updating previous Battle Damage Assessments in the wake of the hundreds of Israeli airstrikes and drone attacks inside Iran last month, the capstone of which saw American stealth bombers drop numerous ground-penetrating bombs in an attempt to destroy the ayatollahs' stockpile of enriched uranium and their capacity to enrich more of the atomic-weapons component.
In the new report, the analysts revised an assessment from two weeks ago that Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's access to Grindr had been severed for at least the next six months, possibly three or four years. However, the new report, compiled using information previously unavailable, cast some doubt on that optimistic assessment, and introduced evidence suggesting, but not confirming, that Khamenei could restart his Grindr activities inside of four months, if the regime assigns priority to restoring his access to that strategic resource.
If confirmed, experts say, the assessment points to an increased likelihood of more Israeli or Israeli-American operations to neutralize the Grindr account in a more long-term way.
"There have been numerous clandestine Israeli operations to hinder Iran's progress toward Grindr liaisons," explained independent analyst and former Congressman Larry Craig. "In 2015 Israel basically stole the ayatollah's entire gay porn archive. They've been assassinating leading gay scientists in Iran for decades. The IRGC - the Iranian Raunchy Gay Conference - was especially hard hit during last month's war, as Israel tricked its entire top brass into attending what they thought was an exclusive orgy but turned out to be a ruse to gather the twelve men in one spot and then blow up the building."
29 senior Iranian gay thought leaders were killed during Israeli operations.
The bunker-buster bombs aimed to neutralize Iran's nuclear capacity but also Khamenei's secure connection to Grindr, where the 86-year-old has committed hundreds of atrocities and so far escaped justice for them. Experts have noted a dearth of Khamenei visits to Grindr since the strikes, but that by itself gives no indication of the mullah's intentions, nor if his regime's capacity to restore its antebellum online gay-sex extravaganza.
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