He thought he'd performed a home repair task that affirmed his right to hold a Man Card.
Jerusalem, March 18 - A local homeowner experienced a short-lived affirmation of his masculinity this week when he climbed to the roof to replace a solar water-heating panel component, saving the family several thousand shekels, only to discover several hours later that the panel had ruptured in a second spot that could not be fixed, necessitating calling a professional and getting a new panel - and negating the homeowner's sense of competence and confidence.
Sagi Wallach, 48, recounted his discouraging experience today to several neighbors. "Remember Tuesday morning when half the rooftop boilers in the city were leaking?" he began, to nods from those assembled.
"Well, I thought we lucked out," he continued. "I left the house just after eight, and I could swear ours was the only place on the street that didn't have water spraying off the roof or draining onto the street. It got down close to freezing that night, and we forgot to leave our water dripping, that was a relief. Fat chance."
Wallach shook his head. "Not an hour later, I come back and there's a steady drip-drip-drip from our gutter on the roof. Not a huge spray or gush like everyone else's, but either way, I knew what to do."
The father of five then described his odyssey of climbing up to the roof, ascertaining that in fact water was flowing from a ruptured pressure cap - an intentional weak point that can be easily replaced, engineered to avoid risking structural compromise of a more sensitive, harder-to-replace, and expensive piece - and walking to the hardware store, where he procured a new brass cap and plumber's hemp. Then Wallach climbed to the roof again, only to discover his only wrench was too small to fit around the original cap. So he returned to the store, bought a bigger wrench, and ascended the roof once more - successfully replacing the cap and avoiding any serious injury - spending a total of 100 shekels and saving thousands, but more importantly, performing a home repair task that affirmed his right to hold a Man Card.
Later, however, Mrs. Wallach noticed that the dripping from the gutter continued, long after the remnants of the original leak should have disappeared. Her husband once again climbed up, noting with consternation a second source of leakage from within the panel itself, which he knew himself ill-equipped to address.
The professional who eventually arrived confirmed the internal rupture and ordered a new panel - to the tune of more than 3400 shekels, almost a thousand US dollars. But Wallach's sense of emasculation far outweighed the financial hit. "Competence is sexy, I'm told," he lamented. "I felt like a real man for the first time in who knows how long, only to have it pulled out from under me. I had it for what, eight minutes?"
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