We forget that Light is our natural state - that we are Beings of Light. And in times of turbulence, transition and seeming death & darkness, we are so busy shading our eyes against the glare and protecting ourselves we forget about the cleansing illumination it brings.
Sitting in my quarantined Northern Thai home very early this morning, sipping tea, listening to birdsong and looking out through the eerie half-light caused by heavy smoke from local forest fire, I was reminded that we live much of our lives in a foggy-smog, created by media, expectations, Disney and a whole host of mistruths that we cherish and cling to like a known and comfortable but dangerous and faithless lover.
It came to me that #coronavirus has been a true gift in my life - a magnifying, clarifying light that is burning away some debris.
Time
Perhaps for each of us in our solitary homes, nothing has been more stark than the light shining on how we spend our time. I have felt personally relieved of so many burdens - people, events, tasks - that I have been unable to do for long enough now that I question why I ever did them. I'm grateful that this quarantine has no end in sight and will allow this new & still fragile rhythm to establish - a new rhythm rooted in focus & essentials, creativity, family and the things that make my heart sing. I am taking careful note to observe the restlessness and the things I yearn for... they are the things and people I will run to with gusto and enthusiasm when I am able. They are few.
Friends
This Covid-19 Lens has enabled me to see who my real friends are, with a level of clarity that has been borderline uncomfortable. My real friends text or call and listen to what's stressing me and keeping me awake at 4.00am. They are the ones who are pre-ordering or buying Pure Thai Naturals products they don't really need so that we can have enough money to eat and at least keep the utility bills paid. They are the dear ones who send me music to lift my spirits and funny memes to make me laugh when it all feels heavy and dark.
My "litmus test" for friends has changed a lot, and for that I'm grateful. I have learned that some people have no idea how to be a friend to anyone, and I'm releasing those people with quiet thanks for the lesson.
Community
With so much endless talk (babble?) about 'creating community', I've seen first hand what real community is about: sensitivity, giving, grace and connection. The real community people don't need to create it artificially, cos they ALREADY LIVE IT no matter where they are. They are the helpers, the connectors, the ones hosting online get-togethers and sending helpful links and ideas. They're NOT the ones shooting out demands and complaints. I've come to see that you can't "create community" to meet your own fears and needs, but that it forms around you naturally, without the slightest effort, when you live in alignment with generosity of spirit and trust.
Values
I'm amazed at the people who claim an hour-long meditation practice and even make videos about it, who are FREAKING OUT. I'm gobsmacked by people who drop the word "abundance" at every opportunity, but who are panicking at having no money. I'm horrified at the people who will step on and harm or deprive others to get what they fear they will lack.
I'm seeing that probably the more someone TALKS about abundance, peace or community, the less it probably is real for them in their lives. I'm seeing that social media values on positivity pages don't count for much when people are deeply afraid. And I'm understanding that this #coronavirus is revelaing what we - and others - actually believe about ourselves and the world.
Essentials
Most of all, I'm grateful to the Corona Lens for shining a light on what is essential. For forcing that question, that discussion.
I am trying to relax into this uncomfortable bright corona light - to sit in the crucible without wriggling or squirming and to simply let the lessons be. My nose is itching, my leg is cramping and part of me wants to scream with frustration, and yet I breathe long and slow, I still my irritated heart and my restless Being; I let the itching pass.
I am observing closely what is germinating and beginning to grow in this new and quiet place.
BlissednBlessed. Grateful.
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