Growing up came with so many awful experiences and memories, but that has helped to build a stronger lady that I am today. Most times reflecting on those experiences brings about sadness, but that will last for just a few minutes and i would shift my attention from the pains to the positive side of the situation, which will bring happiness to my heart and a stunning smile on my face. Although the word "victim" always sounds too harsh, so i tend not to see myself as a victim of anything even when in a clear situation that might be facing. I have this mindset that whatever we believed is what works for us.
Despite the fact that I have been treated unfairly by people and even loved ones, but i saw it as a school, where i have been trained to be better, and that is the only thing that excites me about the whole issues that i might be faced with, another thing that excites me is that those people avail themselves ready and they participated in my training process, so in all these reflecting on those experiences from my childhood, to my adolescent and my adulthood i realize that it built in me a strong and courageous lady out in me.
I have been faced with so many unpleasant experiences from my childhood, and I cannot start narrating all, but this particular experience awakens my consciousness that I'm not a child anymore and I shouldn't be treated as one with the belief that she would keep quiet about it.
I recalled when I was constantly maltreated by my aunty, it built this fear in me mere citing them from far I would run and look for where to hide, whenever she is not in the house it would be a happy moment for me, but when she is back I returned to that sad contenance. I became so scared that I began to ask myself questions because the maltreatment was too severe for me, so I grew up with that fear that I am not good enough, so I choose to be quiet and remain at my space. When I returned home to my mum, I started building myself gradually, and another arose in my university where I was bullied by my roommate simply because she was far ahead of me, even to the extent of being locked outside simply because I returned from church by 8:00pm. All theses joined and depressed me, but when I decided to speak up, I became free, like the experience with my aunt I couldn't do anything but to endure, till I became free. That was the last act of victimization I could take from her because we had equal rights in the room no matter the level. And many other ones. It had to get to that before I became self conscious.
With self consciousness I now have a clear perception of my personality and to accept certain situations the way they are. Through self-consciousness my strengths, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions was revealed. Opening me to understand people and why they act the way they tend to react, both in their attitude and their responses to things at every moment. Although victimization comes with anger, and when I'm angry I can speak hurtful words, so I try my best to avoid that by being quiet when I'm angry. Though amidst I try to take responsibility for the hurtful words and my actions at that moment.
So in all i accept people for who they are, why they act the way they do, and I refuse to play a victim but caution myself, but be patient with people and try to live happily which is my paramount. Although be conscious and never play a victim because it part of the training process as far as life is concerned.
This is my response forJuneinleo daily prompt day 3
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