I know it's part of the game so to speak, the way its supposed to work. They call you, and call you, and call you, almost without regard for the time or day, until you feel like they are closing in, like all of the sudden they will be seating in the backseat of your car wanting to talk to you about the money you owe them.
I've made some terrible choices in the past few months, and honestly I'm not very proud of them. Turning off my phone to not have to deal with the hundreds of phone calls has also resulted in isolation. All of the sudden, many friends who I would normally talk to are feeling like I'm pushing them away, and that was not the intention.
I have to explain to them, I have to tell them how much I dread the debt collectors and how my phone has become a source of anxiety for me. Yes, every single time it rings I'm thinking "Oh... someone with a passive aggressive tone, trying to get me to prioritize that debt over my roof and food" . I mean, I know they can't force, not really, but knowing what is the plan, knowing how they will juggle words to guilt me into compliance, always makes me anxious.
But, I think I found the trick to this whole thing last night, airplane mode. Since many of my friends and family members use whatsapp and debt collectors don't, this is the ninja move to not sacrifice my connection with them, but sacrifice all the connections with THEM.
You would think that I would have the mental capacity to draw a line, between all the phone calls that come from none friendly entities, and the ones that come from the opposite, but for some reason this has been a battle I've not been winning at.
The debt collectors, if they only knew how much anxiety they've caused me over this year, and how much they've made me wish I did not own a phone.
