About learning to listen to the sound of silence.
And the third test, letting go of your chains.
The Lore
I was looking for great tunes when I came across an inspiring video.
I saw lessons I have lived and this is my story.
My Story So Far
I talked about human chains, things that bind you like smoking and debt.
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ -Test 2 - The Sound Of Silence
But once you loosen those chains that are easily controlled it is time to focus on the chains that really bind our energy to the earth instead of to the universe.
For me freeing myself from those chains happened while being faced with my fourth test.
The Next Test
As I mentioned before, don't be so human.
These tests do not come in any particular order and you never know if you truly passed the course or just aced a mid-term.
The good thing is that doesn´t matter because this is the long hard road out of your human hell, and it doesn't end till you do.
This next test caused me to see the less obvious chains that bound me.
Chains such as Fear of failure, Carnal Desire, and trust in Law & Logic.
The Darkest Hour
This test still haunts me I found out recently, I experienced that the impact was so huge that I truly still have PTSS from it.
During my darkest hours, I was able to let go of some chains which proves to me that Test Three, the test of letting go might never end...
My Darkest Hour
I thought I witnessed my darkest hour when someone I trusted and loved turned against me. I did not notice at first, but slowly cracks were visible in the mask she wore.
I ignored it, and looked to myself as the root cause for the pain and misery I experienced. She fed into that, everything was manipulated in a way to make me feel small and insufficient.
Only now I see, that was to compensate for her own feelings. I worked so hard to get there, and then everything seemed to be a failure. Everything I believed in fell apart.
Love was not forever, nobody had my back, I failed my parents and my son.
Everything I thought I was, was ridiculed, and I doubted every fiber of my own identity.
When I came out of that swamp of eternal stench I thought I had seen the bottom.
I thought I was liberated from that which pulled me down for so long. I was the one in control again, no longer manipulated by the one nearest to me.
Instead, I was out of the frying pan, and directly into the fire.
For the first time, I experienced that, this must be a nightmare feeling.
To be in a badly written movie, where you are just a character and have no control whatsoever.
I literally was taken out of my safe place by force and put into a dark dungeon.
Isolation, imprisonment, no control, all future events in other people's hands.
My Darkness
I was thrown into the darkness, and needed to have faith that this was what I had planned for me.
That this is the path to purification, and that the me at the end learned a valuable lesson and hopefully more than one.
After a few days in isolation, while my mind still sent me haunting images of what this would mean to my job, my being a dad, my house, my animals, my newfound love, I also found something else.
When I sat there alone, locked in a room with no key, no distraction, it felt like a gift. I had a book to read, a mind to meditate, and time to do both.
The fears I felt were not for the now, I had to let go. I saw how fake our sense of being in control actually was.
That with a press of a button, other people decide where I spend my freedom. That even if you are righteous, and doing the right thing they can manipulate your life in such a way that you are theirs to do with as they please.
In a strange way, the now was pleasurable.
Our fears are nothing more than possible outcomes.
If we try to control or let us be bound by possible outcomes, we are unable to focus on the dot beyond the horizon.
My Faith
It made me test my faith truly for the first time, I had no options other than to accept that whatever would be the outcome of this imprisonment was what was meant to happen on my journey, on my long hard road out of this human hell.
Today, years after that Darkest Hour I am still pushing myself to move from trusting in FUD to trusting in Faith.
In silence, I listen to the guiding voice I gave myself and learn to have faith in the unseen universal plan.
Having faith in the unseen, how nice a twist as the series of books I am writing are called "The Unseen series."
All about believing in a universal plan.
A plan that only exists in faith.
Faith housed next to the voices inside a human mind.
Divinity Is Not A Dream, I will explain why when we come to the last two tests next week.
Next chapter, Next Test
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - Test 6 & 7 - My Long Hard Road Out Of Human Hell
Thank Goodness you made it till the end Pees, Love and I am out of here!