I completed 7 Tests in 4 weeks in 4 Posts.
Not Bad but what is one to do after that final test?
What's Next?
I just did not feel like I came full circle, no closure, I don´t know exactly. It feels like I have some more stories to tell before I close this chapter and/or this series.
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - Who Am I Behind the Mask?
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ -Test 2 - The Sound Of Silence
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ -Test 4 & 5 - Having Faith In The Unseen In My Darkest Hour
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - Test 6 & 7 - My Long Hard Road Out Of Human Hell
What did I miss?
- Who Am I Really?
- Isolation of the soul, the sound of silence
- Letting go of what ties us to the Earth
- Dwelling alone through the darkest hours of the soul
- Having faith, believing there is a plan even in the darkest moment
- Surrender, acceptance of the cosmic plan
- Realization, seeing the cosmic plan.
These 7 Tests do not come chronologically and you might be tested several times.
But what I think I missed were two things.
Even though I might be near completion of all seven tests I did not realize how long I have been working to get here.
Not until I found a book, with some handwritten texts.
My Story So Far
When I was younger so much younger than today....
I believed the world was nothing but a bunch of atoms and chemical reactions.
I believed that everything and anything had a physical or scientific explanation.
Talking about starting from scratch.
Fortunately, I was open and interested in everything that was not easily explained. That started the encounters with the spiritual realm, or at least its inhabitants here on Earth.
Even though I doubted everything, over time my interest grew. I learned about nature religion, and witchcraft. About the Templars and the Free Masons.
I noticed that even though it was through a male or female view, both drew energy from the same source.
Then they put mentors on my long hard road out of human hell, because I was unable to hear myself.
Many lessons were handed down to me, and few did I understand. At least at first glance, because nowadays I think I am tapping into those lessons that I considered forgotten.
The Text
The book with writing was mine, it was the first time I tried to write a little journal. It was 2009, fifteen years ago.
I was receiving lessons and unable to digest them. I read my scribbling and saw how lost I was.
That I tried to listen?
That I tried to see the real me.
That I knew it was shame and fear stopping me from seeing my man in the mirror.
Fifteen years, and I feel like a different person.
I am far from being perfect, and I am still on this road out of hell.
Somehow I found myself, I mastered my hearing problem.
I can forgive, accept, and move on.
I worked hard to become more balanced, financially and spiritually because we are human. We need balance as long as we have this mortal coil.
For me it has always been one or the other, I never thought about the balance.
I wanted to be with the spirits or enjoy what the flesh has to offer.
My focus what not on achieving goals, and creating a peaceful little paradise where I can regenerate. When did that happen?
When did I finally see?
It was after that very dark moment, I dared write down the cosmic plan I foresaw.
For the first time I saw things connecting, little things I was sure I had known about started to play out.
Slowly I was able to give myself the gift of isolation, to withdraw and contemplate. I did so by writing and meditating, and both became pillars of my everyday life.
I started achieving goals I set for myself, and those goals brought stability, stability brought inner peace and calm, and from that calm, I was able to further grow.
To see more connections all around me, to accept and surrender to the cosmic plan as it all started to make sense.
In some cases making sense was really painful, but those most painful experiences bring the biggest insights if you are open to receiving them.
Nowadays I notice that I am being used as part of that cosmic plan, that they speak through me although I think I am speaking.
I am speaking, but they put me on the road of others, so that they are spoken to like I was during my journey out of human hell.
I am now part of a cosmic plan, and I feel it when it happens.
Probably I am constantly part of the plan and I only feel it when my human mind is making to connection to the plan....but that is good enough for now.
Fifteen years....???
It feels like yesterday that I wrote about how lost I felt in that journal. Today the boy who wrote those words seems so far away.
I have a hard time realizing I got this far and achieved this much.
Yes, I did 4 posts in weeks on Seven Tests, but in the end, it took me at least fifteen years to get here!
Thank Goodness you made it till the end Pees, Love and I am out of here!