Perfectionism Plague – Chapter 3: Taking the Red Pill (The Next Lev...

Beware of this cheeky little progress stifler. It has halted as many things as anything else, stopping progress in its tracks. That inherent need to get things just right before continuing…

But in trying to get everything ‘just right’ we actually don’t get moving, can’t get any feedback, improve and otherwise move forward.

This is a chief cause of procrastination; concern that it won't be perfect so you don't do it at all or put it off.

You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going ~ Mike Litman

Thing is, nothing will ever be just right… ever. So the only possible choice is to get things as good as they can be at that stage of proceedings, get it ‘out there’ and adjust accordingly.

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I can’t stress how important this point is and how it can halt your progress… you’re waiting, procrastinating but no closer to your goals. Your ego is taking over, wanting everything to be amazing which is all well and good but it’s striving for something that’s simply not obtainable.

You want to aim for excellence, not perfection.

Forget perfection, this doesn’t exist and will only make you feel bad so lets forget it entirely. Whatever you’re doing can certainly become pretty damn amazing when improved and refined but perfection as such will not be attained, only improved excellence.

You have to just aim to 'get it out there', whatever it is. Then you can refine as you go, receive feedback, refine, tweak, improve, make better. You will eventually have something that is very very good, perhaps excellent… it won't ever be perfect though.

But that's ok, it doesn't need to be.

Detachment From Outcome

One great way of overcoming this is to become totally detached from the outcome.

Obviously there will be an outcome or a goal you desire but you need to learn to not be defined by it. You want to reach that objective but at the same time you are still going to be happy without it.

Paradoxically, that helps to draw it to you anyway.

You have to learn to gain from the process itself, enjoy the journey, as that is as rich as any perceived pot of gold.

Take approaching a girl (or boy depending on your gender and persuasion), this is quite nerve-racking for some people. It's mainly because of their fear of rejection. But you have to ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? They reject you. Big wow.

If they're rude then they're not really the kind of people you want to be spending time on and with. More likely is they will politely decline. But even more likely is that they will be receptive as long as you're not a complete weirdo about things.

If you just relax and not want anything from the exchange then you don't lose anything if it doesn't work out. And, at the same time you will actually appear more attractive to that other person in the process. Win-win.

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Same with sales. A desperate salesman won't make that sale. It's obvious, the prospect knows and can sense that desperation. Now, when that salesman is indifferent, and genuinely so, then that arouses curiosity.

Same with women, same with sales. I'm no expert on either but that's the way it is.

Indifference is huge. In dating, in sales, in anything. Check out any guy who's good with girls. The needy guy pandering to every whim won't be anything but a friend. The guy who's slightly aloof, unpredictable, mysterious and doesn't seem to care either way is more attractive to the girl.

This is not a book on dating, nor would I be qualified to write it! Although there are worse people you could listen to, but I'll shut up with my 2-bit advice and get back to perfectionism.

My point in all of this is that perfectionism isn't possible nor is it necessary in any arena.

Usually, you only need to be a little better than average. Most people don't make much of an effort at anything, so just a little effort from you puts you ahead of the game.

And a lot of effort from you puts you way ahead.

Become a little crazy, whimsical, devil-may-care. Be a little tongue-in-cheek, take things with a pinch of salt. It really doesn't matter all that much.

You enter with that attitude and perfection doesn't really matter and you win either way…

So now what do we do about all the whingers and whiners, pissers and moaners? They're out there, and we tackle this issue in the next chapter!