Book Babble #5: My take on… "Relentless: From Good to Great to Unst...

So how exactly does one become unstoppable? Let's find out from top trainer Mr Tim Grover!

First up, who is Tim Grover?

I must admit, I wasn't aware of this character until fairly recently. Maybe I heard his name (and this book) mentioned here and there but it didn't really register. I then saw him speak at a conference (not live, I had the video version) and got to see what he was all about.

This guy lives up to the name of the book and is not for the faint hearted. He is full on. And he has to be. His main claim to fame is training some of the top basketball players that ever lived. In particular, a name you may be familiar with - Mr Michael Jordan.

So, how do you coach the best? What can you do for them to give them a further edge, take them to and keep them at the top, as well as excel beyond all expectations and dreams? Who knows. Or perhaps Grover does.

Whether you like his style or not, he is certainly a man worth listening to, as I'm not sure you can get any higher than upping the game of arguably the greatest sportsperson that ever lived. (note to self: get Michael Jordan auto-bio ;)).

Let's talk about his style. When I saw him on stage speaking, he certainly has a presence and air of authority. An alpha of alpha males. He is also hard-core in his beliefs and work ethic. And he absolutely expects the same from his clients and people he associates with. He talked about making sacrifices. Nothing new there, but he leaves no margin for doubt.

He also spoke about attendees approaching him at the conference, in the bar etc: "if you can't handle your liquor, don't drink" and "call me Mr Grover (not Tim, T, TG etc) if you don't know me" were a couple of bits that stuck out, ie. he demands respect. And to be fair, he has earned it and has to be that way in order to do what he does and accomplish what he wants.

The book continues in the same vain and centres around his work with Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade among others. These are the big hitters in the sport. I spoke about John Wooden yesterday and here we continue in a similar ilk. You don't have to be a fan of sports and basketball in particular, although it does help as there's a fair bit of name dropping. However, sound principles are exactly that and can be applied across the board.

Cooler, Closer or Cleaner?

The book is based around Grover's terminologies of what it means to be a Cooler, a Closer or a Cleaner. To put it simply, the Cooler is the average person (maybe even good), the Closer is an occasional winner and achiever (maybe even great)… and a Cleaner is someone that cleans up! Meaning they are unstoppable, and yes, relentless.

He gives many examples of the differences as well as supporting stories and references throughout. He speaks about his "Relentless 13" - 13 principles which embody what makes a Cleaner. They're all labeled "#1" by the way (as opposed 1-13), due to their equal importance.

Ok, without further ado, let's jump into some classic quotes from the book. There are many, and much repeated, so I'll pick out a few of the best and delve into the differences of the 3 Cs.

Source Amazon.com

Here are some snippets of the book along with my additional thoughts…

Don’t think. You already know what you have to do, and you know how to do it. What’s stopping you?

Overthinking is the bane of everyone's life. As the good folk at Nike would say, just do it! Do what you can with the knowledge that you have. You can always course correct at a later time should the need arise. You have all you need to know right now… go for it!

if you don’t make a choice, the choice will be made for you.

Yeah, make the decision already. Someone will gladly make it for you and you'll always be a follower. Never a leader. And certainly not a Cleaner.

Being relentless means demanding more of yourself than anyone else could ever demand of you, knowing that every time you stop, you can still do more. You must do more.

There's always more to be done. Another level to hit. Most people don't have all that high standards anyway, so it's important to create your own targets. Exceeding what others ask is a very good habit for multiple reasons.

Success isn’t the same as talent.

'Success' is a subjective word. But it comes a result as making progress to what it is that you desire in your life. Talent is a natural gift or propensity to something, which ultimately means diddly-squat if it's not worked on. It can take you so far, gives you a start and there will always be glimpses of it bubbling under, but as for lasting success and Cleaner status, you must work relentlessly on your skill and craft.

“In order to have what you really want, you must first be who you really are.”

Slightly esoteric, but yes, know who you are (self-awareness), act on that awareness and get what you want!

Being relentless means never being satisfied. It means creating new goals every time you reach your personal best. If you’re good, it means you don’t stop until you’re great. If you’re great, it means you fight until you’re unstoppable. It means becoming a Cleaner.

Again, always another level. Keep raising the bar. A Cleaner is never satisfied.

Greatness makes you a legend; being the best makes you an icon. If you want to be great, deliver the unexpected. If you want to be the best, deliver a miracle.

Go above and beyond. Not just in a cheesy 'we offer great customer service' sense, but another level. Perform what some people may even call 'miracles'.

A Cleaner’s attitude can be summed up in three words: I own this. He walks in with confidence and leaves with results.

Love this. Own it and take the spoils! ;)

Cleaners are rule-breakers when they have to be; they only care about the end result.

The end justifies the means. A controversial one for some I suspect, but I believe this to be true in the majority of circumstances. The result is what matters, and if it's for the greater good then it's the way it has to be. And it's not a case of breaking rules for the sake of it but using sound judgment to assess whether certain things need to be adhered too and acting accordingly.

Most people are afraid to climb that high, because if they fail, the fall will kill them. Cleaners are willing to die trying. They don’t worry about hitting the ceiling or the floor. There is no ceiling. There’s no floor either.

Fearless. Knowing you will be ok.

those who talk don’t know, and those who know don’t talk.

Actions speak louder than words!

Physical dominance can make you great. Mental dominance is what ultimately makes you unstoppable.

Master your mind. That comes first, then your body.

I know it’s uncomfortable. I’m not telling you to love it. I’m telling you to crave the result so intensely that the work is irrelevant.

Again, it's about the result. This comes back to the old 'journey v destination' thing. Sometimes is can be about the journey, but often it's about focusing on the destination to be willing to do what's necessary now.

Bottom line if you want success of any kind: you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

It's been said a thousand times, and I'm sure we've all seen the memes. But still, growth is outside of your comfort zone.

My goal is to make it so challenging in the gym that everything that happens outside the gym seems easy.

The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat. Not sure who said that originally but could be a Marine motto. Make it tougher in preparation, so the real thing is a breeze (relatively speaking).

You have to be with me 100 percent, not thinking about what you’re doing tonight or the bills you have to pay. Complete focus for complete results.

Focus on the task at hand. One of the key skills in life, not being distracted but full concentration on what is in front of you.

Ask yourself where you are now, and where you want to be instead. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do to get there. Then make a plan to get there. Act on it.

The road to any goal. Sounds simple, which it is… but not easy.

With Cleaners, there’s no off-switch. They’re always on.

Always! You can't be a cleaner 9-5 or just on weekdays, or when you're at work. Doesn't work like that. Either that's who you are, or it isn't.

Cleaners show emotion if it’s the only way to get everyone else where they need to be. But never because the Cleaner has lost control of his feelings.

Cleaners maintain complete emotional self-control. Any anger for example, is controlled and used for positive purposes (to get someone else motivated for example, if that's what drives them)… never is anger allowed to spiral up and out of control.

Born relentless, taught to relent.

Point here is that we were born relentless. Kids are relentless in how they go about their day. Then they get conditioned and become 'normal' adults. After a few years on the planet most people relent and take a back seat.

Like all Cleaners, he didn’t study the competition, he made the competition study him.

Talking about Michael Jordan. Focusing on your own game. Being the best. Making the competition almost obsolete - make them worry about you rather than the other way round. This way you've already won. Mike Tyson had won most of his boxing matches before stepping in to the ring.

A Cooler tries to fight his dark side and loses. A Closer acknowledges his dark side but isn’t able to control it. A Cleaner harnesses his dark side into raw, controlled power.

The author goes on to talk about harnessing your 'dark side'. Don't be afraid of it. Use it. But control it.

A Cooler takes no risks. A Closer takes risks when he can prepare in advance and knows the consequences of failing are minimal. Nothing feels risky to a Cleaner; whatever happens, he’ll know what to do.

Take the leap. Don't necessarily be reckless, but back yourself to know what to do regardless of the outcome.

Have the confidence to say when you’ve screwed up, and people will respect you for it. If you did it, own it. If you said it, stand by it. Not just the mistakes, but all your decisions and choices. That’s your reputation. Make it count.

Own it.

When you’re young, you have one speed—fast. As you mature, you learn to vary your speed based on the situation: you know when to go slow, when to go full out. Here’s the example I give my players: Two bulls stand on top of a hill, a father and a son, looking down on a field of cows below. The son can’t wait: “Come on, let’s go, we gotta run down and get some of those cows!” And the father looks at him slowly, wisely, and says, “No, let’s walk down and get all the cows.” Instinct, not impulse.

Know when to run, know when to walk. There's a time and a place for each.

A Closer will adjust himself to the situation; a Cleaner adjusts the situation to himself.

Reminds me of a quote by George Bernard Shaw: “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

A Cooler does a good job and waits for a pat on the back. A Closer does a good job and pats himself on the back. A Cleaner just does a good job, that’s his job.

Do what you need to do. But don't expect any plaudits. That's just who you are.

A lot of gifted people will lower their skills to close the gap between themselves and those around them, so others can feel more confident, involved, and relatively competitive.

Terrible. Try to avoid this. Bring people up.

You have to look at your teammates, your employees, and see what they can do, not what they can’t.

Play to your strengths. Focus on the positive, not the negative.

Successful people compensate for what they don’t have; unsuccessful people make excuses, blame everyone else, and never get past the deficiencies.

Take full responsibility.

A Cooler wonders what’s going to happen. A Closer watches things happen. A Cleaner makes things happen.

Make it happen! :D

For every chief, there has to be a tribe, and at some point you have to let everyone in the tribe experience what it’s like to be the chief so they can all see the intricacies and issues and texture of what happens at the top and recognize what’s happening in the big picture rather than getting stuck in their own little scenes.

Experience is King. Everyone needs a little taste of what's going on in an organisation in order to walk in other's shoes. I'll add that the chief also needs to get in amongst the tribe once in a while to experience that angle and make him a better chief.

There’s only a situation, your response, and an outcome.

There is no 'good' or 'bad' per se. Just a situation. You choose your response. Choose wisely ;)

Good things come to those who wait. No, good things come to those who work.

Go grab it. He who hesitates, mastur… eats alone.

Figure out what you do, then do it. And do it better than anyone else.

Find out who you are, and become the best!

Interesting how the guy with the most talent and success spent more time working out than anyone else.

As mentioned earlier, talent is only one piece of the pie. Someone at the top of their game is also going to work the hardest, despite their level of talent.

It all comes back to this, no matter what you do in life: Are you willing to make the decision to succeed?

It all starts with a decision. Make it a good one! Oh, and make it your one. Then stick by it.

Cleaner Law: when you reduce your competition to whining that you “got lucky,” you know you’re doing something right.

It's been said that 'luck' is to be found at the crossroads of where preparation meets opportunity. And many a person has been attributed as saying "the harder I work, the luckier I get". It also comes back to taking full personal responsibility for all.

Take care of business.

Do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done.

#1. WHEN YOU’RE A CLEANER . . . . . . You’d rather be feared than liked.

A lot of people tend to be overly concerned about being 'liked'. What does that even mean anyway? That you're the same and not a threat? Great. This isn't to say you want people to be scared of you in life, but in sport, it's certainly an advantage. It goes back to the Mike Tyson thing I mentioned earlier - winning before the fight even starts. There is a middle ground of course, but the point here is that out of the 2, you'd rather be feared than everyone's 'pal'.

A Cooler keeps his opinions to himself. A Closer will say what he thinks, but only behind your back. A Cleaner will tell you straight to your face what he thinks, whether you like it or not.

Be real. Not a 'yes-man'.

A Cooler is liked. A Closer is respected. A Cleaner is feared, and then respected for doing exactly what everyone feared he’d do.

Back to 'like' and 'fear'. Much more important is respect, so figure where that lies on the spectrum.

Do you want to be the guy worrying, or the guy quietly making everyone else worry?

Make the competition worry about you. Whilst you are relaxed and content and ready to rock!

The loudest guy in the room is the one with the most to prove, and no way to prove it. A Cleaner has no need to announce his presence; you’ll know he’s there by the way he carries himself, always cool and confident.

An empty vessel makes most noise. I often think about this phrase when I hear my neighbours wittering on like they have some sort of mental malfunction. But you've met those people who just 'have it', they never tell you this, they just quietly and confidently go about their life… and everyone just knows what they're about.

. . . You trust very few people, and those you trust better never let you down.

Keep a tight ship, with the best shipmates! Loyalty is King.

I ask three things of anyone who walks in my door: show up, work hard, and listen.

This is the author's remit for his clients. Sounds simple, but most can't do these 3 things.

When a Cooler speaks, you have doubts. When a Closer speaks, you listen. When a Cleaner speaks, you believe.

Authority. Confidence. Certainty. You know what you're dealing with.

. . . You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want.

There's more than one way to skin a cat (sorry kitty). One way doesn't work, you come at it from another angle. Show's not over yet!

A Cleaner is done when he says he’s done, not when you say he’s done.

They work on their terms. Join them for the ride, or get off the bus!

If you ever find me and a bear wrestling in the woods, help the bear.

Poor bear.

The Cooler admits defeat. The Closer works harder. The Cleaner strategizes for a different outcome.

Keep on keeping on. It's not just working harder but adjusting strategy.

A Cleaner knows when to walk away, and which direction to walk. Never running, always walking; he leaves smoothly and on his own terms. He can lose a battle because he’s still planning to win the war. Lose a game, but win the season. Lose a season, come back and win the next three. Lose a job, start a new business. No one else is getting the last word on whether he succeeded.

There's always another day. Another battle. In the words of Arnie, "I'll be back".

. . . You don’t celebrate your achievements because you always want more.

Or you keep them to a minimum. There is much more work to be done.

A Cooler is first to arrive at the celebration and last to leave. A Closer will make an appearance, then go out with his own crew. A Cleaner just wants to get back to work.

It might sound a bit sad that they don't take the time to celebrate. I guess there's just an overwhelming feeling of wanting to get on with it.

their approval means nothing to him because the standards he sets for himself are so much higher than anyone else can possibly set for him.

They don't need or seek approval. They are immune to criticism, or praise for that matter. They set the standards which will be superior to others anyway.

A Cleaner performs for himself, and everyone else wins. Whatever he does to satisfy his goals internally transfers to them externally. When he achieves what he desires, everyone else around him benefits.

What you do for yourself affects everyone around you. Sometimes it's considered 'selfish', but that's where it starts and how it also benefits others.

“I’m doing this, I’ll give up whatever I have to give up so I can do this, I don’t care what anyone thinks, and if there are consequences that affect the other parts of my life, I’ll deal with them when I have to.”

Doing what's necessary.

Every dream you imagine, everything you see and hear and feel in your sleep, that’s not a fantasy, that’s your deep instinct telling you it can all be real. Follow those visions and dreams and desires, and believe what you know. Only you can turn those dreams into reality. Never stop until you do.

Something the author tells his daughter (he softened slightly when mentioning her) and for the reader too.

Everything you want can be yours. Be a Cleaner and go get it. Be relentless. Done. Next.

Ok. Done. Next!

Thanks Tim! Sorry, Mr Grover. What else?

I think that about covers it.

A good question at this point could be, do you even want to be a Cleaner?

Not everyone does, and most won't be willing to put in the work. And that's fine. I'm guessing most people reading this book and/or article have some kind of aspirations for bigger things, but everyone has their own ideas of where the line is.

As ever, take the inspiration and wisdom and use it as best for you. At the very least we can add some 'Cleanery' aspects to our life, but perhaps forgo the parts that don't fit in with who we are.

Most of us aren't Tim Grover or Michael Jordan… but we can be the TGs and MJs of our own little world and help lift others up in the process. It's about finding our space and maximising our potential.

Thanks for reading… let me know if you've read this book and if you have any others you recommend. And until next time, Clean on! ;)

Check out the others in the series…

Book Babble #5: My take on… "Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable" by Tim Grover

First up, who is Tim Grover?

Cooler, Closer or Cleaner?

Here are some snippets of the book along with my additional thoughts…

Thanks Tim! Sorry, Mr Grover. What else?